Running to You
by Kangaruby
Summary: Castle and Beckett after being stuck in the freezer. Castle sees Beckett talking to Josh and realizes he's done. But then Beckett has to go and start calling his name as he walks away.
1. Running to You

_Basically how I wanted the whole scene after Castle and Beckett being rescued from the freezer to go. _

_Yet again another attempt of mine to get rid of motorcycle boy. _

_Enjoy._

* * *

The paramedics were telling Castle of all his physical injuries and how he should expect to feel sluggish for the next several days from the effects of the hypothermia, he wasn't listening. Yeah he would give an understanding nod of his head when they told him it would be normal to have spurts of involuntary shivering and that he should refrain from exerting too much energy until his body fully recovered from the ordeal, but he couldn't hear them. None of his physical injuries mattered to him, they would all heal.

His thoughts were screaming in his mind. He was looking at Beckett as her back was facing him. Seeing her have what looked like an 'I'm so glad you're alive' conversation with her boyfriend. Not him. Castle was her partner, not her boyfriend. Sometimes he couldn't tell the difference.

They spent the majority of their days together and enjoyed each other's company. But he didn't get to walk her to her door, he didn't have the privilege of kissing her goodnight, and even worse, he didn't have her. And not being with her was more excruciatingly painful than anything he had experienced. Because seeing her with Josh cut his heart open wider with every longing glance.

Since it hurt so much to see her, he decided to stop looking. Paramedics gave him the okay to leave and he was doing just that. He would walk away from the ambulance and never look back. Text Esposito and Ryan saying thanks for everything. But not Beckett. He knew he wouldn't be able to bring himself to push send. So he would just leave. A cowardly way out he had to admit, but they weren't in anything.

* * *

He was just leaving the glow of the flashing blue and reds when he heard someone call his name.

It was Beckett. He thought to himself to just keep walking, but then his hurt started to switch to anger and the person reciting his name became an enticing punching bag.

He turned around and waited until she was close enough and then he threw the, metaphorical, first punch.

"Beckett you don't get to call my name. You aren't allowed to string me along when it's convenient for you.

I keep making the mistake that you want me around. And I think I'm done pretending you do. I'm a writer so naturally I have a pretty vivid and active imagination. Up to today I actually believed you liked having me pull your pigtails. If I wasn't just imagining some wildly thought-out conspiracy, I remember you telling me, more than once, you enjoyed having me follow you around. But after everything we've been through together I'm starting to see I'm not needed around here. I think I just woke up and stopped daydreaming. I've put two and two together and I can see it now.

Anything related to your job, insights or clues or whatever, you've got Esposito and Ryan to theorize with. And anything that isn't case related, you've got some other guy, that isn't me for. It's taken me three years to figure that out, so maybe I'm a bit slow. Maybe it's the chill running through my bones from the freezer we almost died huddled together in, but the chill seems to have me thinking clearly.

I'm going to regret telling you this but a couple minutes before I became unconscious, I thought you had died. I couldn't feel a pulse and you weren't responding anymore. Then when I woke up in the ambulance, I didn't see you and I thought... But then, I saw you talking to Dr. Motorcycle boy and knew you were okay.

I was just going to leave and not even say goodbye. Text Esposito and Ryan telling them good luck with the case and thanks for finding us. I wasn't even going to tell you bye."

Castle noticed Beckett choke up a little at that but he continued to speak, knowing if he stopped he would never finish.

"I'm a writer, but when I see you with him, or any other guy that isn't me, and they make you laugh and they get to comfort you, I'm lost for words. All I feel is this sucker punch to my stomach and a constricted sensation in my throat. And this horrifying darkness rolls over my chest.

So I was just going to leave so I wouldn't have to feel it anymore. But, since you started walking towards me and calling my name, I figured it would be rude of me to run away. So go ahead and tell me I'm right so I can stop following you like the little puppy dog everybody thinks I am and your pigtails can be left alone. And if any part of this isn't true, and you actually may want me around, that you may even feel the same way I've felt, now would the time to speak up.

Just know though, this is the last time I will come back. I'm not going to plead or degrade myself anymore. It hurts too much. I may play poker from time to time, but my face isn't fooling anyone. If you want me around, know that I used all the strength I had left to come this far. To turn around and tell you this when I was already walking away.

Please don't give me anymore false hope."

* * *

As Castle finished speaking, he could see a few tears escaping her eyes moving down towards her lips. Kate didn't say anything. She just looked at his tired, saddened face and his surprisingly dark grey eyes that normally shown blue with a depth of happiness she didn't know anyone could possess.

Instead of speaking, she turned around in her high heels, the high heels Castle couldn't fathom that she ran in. Nevertheless she ran.

He didn't know who she was running to but he was pretty damn sure he knew what she was running from. Him.

Castle felt his heart tear further with each hurried step she took away from him. As much as it killed him to see her leave, he watched her until the street, still filled with cop cars and their drivers swallowed her up.

He counted the steps she took until he reached nineteen. After that he had lost his view. Castle had to watch. He needed to remember how it felt to see her leave. Remember how painful it was to see the person he cared about walk away and not look back.

He wanted to make sure he knew the feeling so he would never allow it to happen again. But also, he watched because a small part of him knew, if Kate had looked back, even if it wasn't to look at him, he wouldn't have the willpower to stay away. And part of him didn't want to stay away.

She kept her back facing him and didn't falter once.

* * *

Beckett waited around until he finished his speech, he had a lot to say and she wanted him to say it. She'd been afraid to say how she felt and even more so to admit her feelings to herself. She almost told him how she felt in the freezer but was physically unable to finish.

When the last word left his lips she hesitated a few seconds just to take it all in. She wanted to remember how horrible it was to see him hurt. She had never wanted to make him feel this way. After storing the picture of the sad, non-Castle like picture of him in her head, she ran.

Every other time a guy told her something like Castle just did she would run. Run as far away as she could because she needed to get away.

This was the only time she ran to be able to stay.

Beckett had to find Josh. He was somewhere nearby and she couldn't wait any longer.

She stayed in the relationship with motorcycle boy because it was easy. It would be easy if things didn't work out, she always picked relationships that were easy to leave. But now, she realized she wanted to stay in her relationship with Castle because it was difficult. Difficult because if things went wrong she had something to lose. And it would be so devastating to lose Castle.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Josh's cell. She knew he could only be a couple blocks ahead of her, heading to her apartment. He answered and she told him to start walking back and meet her halfway. She told him they needed to talk.  
She saw him coming towards her and she quickened her pace.

She told him it was over and she was sorry. He didn't take it well but he didn't have to ask to know the reason why. He knew.

"It's because of Castle isn't it?" Josh asked not needing an answer.  
"Let him know I say good luck if he wants to be with you. I mean hell Kate, you and I could be inches apart and I felt like you were miles away."

"I'll be sure to tell him he's crazy. I've told him that before."

And with that she walked away. She was a little surprised how Josh took things, but she was pretty sure he'd known how she felt from the start. She never really was with him. Not how two people are supposed to be together. She was always thinking of someone else.

* * *

She didn't bother calling Castle because she knew he wouldn't pick up. Instead she went straight to the loft. She entered the lobby and the doorman said good evening with a smile. If he only knew the kind of 'evening' she had.

When she reached his door she paused for a second just to catch her breath. She took the stairs because she knew what she wanted to say couldn't wait. She knocked on the door and heard footsteps heading towards her. When the door opened she almost didn't recognize the guy staring back at her.

She had never seen Castle so defeated. So devoid of life. His eyes were a cloudy grey and he was still shivering from their last near death encounter. But she was still taken aback when his voice sounded as cold as he looked.

"Beckett what do you want?"

She didn't miss a beat as she looked back at him and said just above a whisper, a confidence in her voice she only had when talking about her mom's case.

"You. I just want you."

She reached both hands up to touch his face and kissed him. It was a shy kiss at first and he barely kissed her back. In between breaths Kate whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Castle."

She pulled away from him to give him reassurance.

"I only walked away so I could break up with Josh. I couldn't dive in to anything with you before ending things with him. So I ran. I wasn't running from you, I was running to you."

This time it was Castle who kissed first.

* * *

_At least for now this story feels complete to me, I'm not calling it a one shot though. You never know._

_Feedback is encouraged and appreciated, unless you actually like Josh the motorcycling douche. But you can still give feedback too. _


	2. Not Just a Cup of Coffee

_Chapter two of Running to You. Hope you enjoy. It was hard to start writing but then became so much easier once I just went with it. Hope you like it._

**_Disclaimer: _**_I am not Mr. Marlowe so I am significantly less acclaimed and eat Ramen noodles on a regular basis, though if I was financially more stable the matter of consuming massive amounts of Ramen noodles probably wouldn't change. End rant about the saltiest, most deliciously cheap food to ever dance across may taste buds._

* * *

Hearing Beckett say what he only hoped she would someday feel towards him, changed him. He was no longer cold. No longer frozen from the chill the freezer left behind, nor the emotional arctic frost that swept in over his heart when he thought she was gone. It all thawed and was replaced with the whisper of the hope her voice instilled.

He didn't care that they needed to talk. Discussing their relationship could wait. He was done playing it safe in the shallow end of the pool. He was ready to dive, and she was too.

Instead of over-thinking like he does when he writes for Nikki Heat, he acted out of instinct. He needed her closer, even though she was only a few inches away.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed her against him, and she reciprocated by placing her hands on his shoulders. He moved one of his hands up to her face and cradled her jaw, gently directing her head upwards so they could kiss. Both needing more, he swiped his tongue along her lips and she parted for him them with ease.

He started moving forward, making Beckett scoot backward to meet her back with the wall. He pushed her up against it and she used her right leg to wrap around his so he would move closer, leaving no space between them. When he inched closer their hips were right against one another and their chests brushed lightly, moving up and down in perfect sync.

Beckett moved her arms that were now entwined behind his neck and held onto the front of his shirt. Their lips broke contact so they could get some air, and once her lungs were satisfied she used his shirt to pull him back towards her lips in an attempt to satisfy her mouth.

Castle didn't want to stop but he also didn't want their relationship to start with a regret. He would never regret any time he was with Beckett but he wasn't sure if she would feel the same way tomorrow that she did today, so he figured, he could just spend tonight keeping her warm.

He moved the hand still caressing her face and let it move down to her shoulder, sweeping his hand slowly down her arm, intertwining it with one of hers. They broke apart from each other ever so slightly and he guided her towards his office and into his bedroom.

* * *

Castle could tell she was still cold by her ever so subtle shivers he sensed running through her veins. He knew her well enough that even without the subtlety of her shivers, he would still know she was cold.

"You can wear one of my sweatshirts if you want."

"How'd you know I'm still cold?"

"I notice everything about you Beckett."

"I'm sure one of your sweatshirts would help keep me warm but I think I know one other thing that could probably do an even better job."

"Oh yeah, and what would that be Beckett?"

She started to smile, her lower lip slipping from in-between her teeth and she answered,

"You."

Castle matched her grin, saying

"I can't deny your logic, but I still insist you where my warmest sweatshirt."

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing Castle. You just want to see me wearing your clothes."

Castle put on a fake look of surprise and shock responding, "Detective Beckett, I never. I'm simply doing my civic duty in making sure you, a fellow citizen, is taken care of" as he came back from his closet with a sweatshirt from his alma mater.

Beckett slipped the sweatshirt over her blouse and couldn't help but feel an instant warmth that had little to do with the sweatshirt. He made her comfortable without even the feel of his touch.

After they had kicked off their shoes, Castle turned down the bed, making sure she got the choice of where she wanted to sleep.

"You can sleep anywhere you'd like. Either side of the bed, or if you're not comfortable with that you can choose from any other bed in the loft. Alexis is having a sleepover at a friends and Mother is away at a spa. You could be a modern day Goldilocks if you wanted."

"As tempting as that sounds, I was never a fan of porridge. And I don't think any of the places would be as comfortable or inviting without you snoring on the other side of the bed."

"I do not snore! And if I did, you won't know until morning."

"Lucky for me."

He wrapped her up in a hug that said everything. It said, I'm glad you're here, I couldn't be happier, and any of the other words that he had trouble finding.

Castle had realized with Beckett, sometimes silence speaks volumes.

* * *

He learned that after bringing her a coffee every morning, standing by her side on a case, just being present. Her look of gratitude was all the thanks he needed to continue the acts every time he was with her. It's all he had needed to keep coming back. He knew it went a long way with her, he just never know how much.

Kate had loved that Castle had a way with words. Not just because he wrote amazing books, books that nobody, but maybe Will Sorrenson, knew helped her after her mother's death. She loved how he made her feel whenever he spoke. Like he very carefully crafted his words in his mind before he spoke them. How he would sometimes speak exactly how he wrote. Using the most graceful yet strong words to not only describe Nikki Heat, but herself.

She had decided that it was that ability to use words and manipulate them to flow beautifully together, even when used to describe death, which made him so great at filling the silence. And what was so alluring about it was he wouldn't even speak a word. He would hand her a cup of coffee, or he would watch her when he thought she was looking away, or even just give her a little smile which crinkled the skin by his strikingly blue eyes.

Though all of these things made her feel welcome, none of them compared to the embrace of his hug. It was all encompassing. It was a cup of coffee, a look of longing, a heartbreaking smile, and the fact that he stayed, all wrapped up into one. It was Castle.

They both slipped into bed and Castle turned off the light. Beckett and Castle were huddled together as they nestled in to each other, readying to fall into an easy slumber. Both of them lying on their sides, Castle wrapped one arm around her waist and used the other to pull her closer, making sure not to let go. He nuzzled his face into the side of her neck and was met with the subtle smell of cherries, vanilla, and something that was all her own. Before nodding off to sleep he whispered into her ear.

"I'm so glad you're here."

He hadn't expected her to hear him, thinking she may already be asleep, but then he was rewarded with the sound of her voice whispering back as it lulled him to sleep.

"Me too Castle."

* * *

Castle awoke to the blinding light coming in through the window and he cursed himself for not closing the blinds before he got into bed. The only thing worse than an alarm clock is the natural light seeping in through the windows on a day off, when you can actually sleep in. Not that he didn't have the privilege of choosing his own hours, but he knew Beckett didn't and was worried that, like him, she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep after being bombarded by sunlight.

He rolled over to re-wrap his arm around her waist and hopefully get to relax with her for a bit longer when he was hit with a feeling of cold. Her side of the bed was empty.

Had it all been a dream?

He was about to jump out of bed and run to the living room and figure it out for himself when his olfactory senses made him change his train of thought. He smelt coffee. She was here and she was making coffee. She really was perfect.

He sat up a little and turned his head toward the door seeing Beckett walk into the bedroom. She was carrying two steaming cups of coffee and still wearing his sweatshirt.

He knew they would talk about the relationship soon but he wanted to enjoy a cup of coffee with her first. Seeing how that's how most of this started, him bringing her coffee, he couldn't think of a more perfect way to start off a new chapter with the real Nikki Heat.

Castle wasn't sure where this new avenue would take them but he wanted to be sitting shotgun. He knew she would be the one to drive. And he was okay with that as long as he got to take in all the scenery.

* * *

_Please feel free to leave a review, I like to know what you like or dislike, preferably about the story._

_Keep your eyes peeled for more chapters. I'm in need of coffee so until I stop reading fanfiction and go to the store, writing will be difficult._


	3. Us

_Running to You chapter 3_

_I know it took longer than I would like to update this story, I've been busy lately and usually am until the summer. But if you're like me, though you hate not knowing what is going to happen next, the nice surprise of another chapter is refreshing when it finally does appear._

_Not sure when I will be able to update again but don't think I'm forgetting about the story._

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own Castle._

* * *

Empty coffee mugs sat side by side on Castle's end table mimicking the two people lounging on the bed.

Castle was propped up against the bed board while Beckett was curled in close to him, her head resting on his shoulder and her arms keeping herself anchored to him. Castle had just set their matching coffee mugs onto the end table and was now mindlessly running his fingers through Beckett's hair. Neither Beckett nor Castle had ever appreciated the serenity of a silent morning paired with the comfort of the person you care about until now.

They had enjoyed the peacefulness for thirty minutes before Beckett's phone alarm started to blare, reminding them today was not the best day to do nothing. There was still a dirty bomb somewhere in the city and from what they remember from before they were trapped in the freezer, the bomb had a timer that now, had at most, seven hours to go.

Beckett removed herself from the comfort of Castle's embrace, finding her cell on the end table on her side of the bed and reached over to grab her phone to shut off the alarm.

If only finding the bomb and stopping it from detonating were that simple.

* * *

She returned to her place next to Castle and leaned in to say good morning, forgoing words and instead expressing it with a kiss.

Castle returned the sentiment but didn't escalate the kiss, knowing there wasn't time for anything more if they wanted to get to the precinct on schedule. He wasn't normally a stickler for showing up on time or the deadlines made for his books but considering the circumstances of today he was.

Once their lips broke apart Castle used his thumb to outline her jaw in a caress and began to speak.

"I know we should discuss our relationship but I think maybe we should wait until after this case is over, what do you think?"

Beckett and Castle both moved to get out of bed knowing if they stayed in it much longer they may never get out. And as much as they would have loved the idea they had to get going to the precinct.

"I think that's a good idea, we'll just take some time to talk about it after the case. And maybe we should refrain from saying anything about our relationship to anyone until we've talked about it. It's not that I don't want people to know about us, I just think we should talk about us before we tell other people."

Castle had something in mind to answer her with but when she spoke he seemed to have trouble finding the words, and instead a smile formed on his face, his blue eyes gleaming a little bit brighter.

Beckett wasn't too sure what it was Castle was smiling about and she couldn't help but be slightly confused.

"Um Castle, what are you smiling about?"

Castle stood up and made his way over to Beckett where she waiting for an explanation. Through his smile he managed to tell her the reason why the skin around his eyes were crinkled.

"You said _us_."

She couldn't help but match his smile with her own when she heard the word escape his lips. _Us_. She seemed to like the sound of that single syllable word as much as Castle.

With the smile still etched on her lips and a wave of happiness adorning her face she answered him and leaned in closer, their grins only inches apart.

"Yeah I did, and now you did too."

Castle wrapped his arms around Beckett's waist as he stated,

"I like how that sounds when you say it."

It was then that Beckett slid her arms past his shoulders, her hands brushing his skin, and then resting clasped together behind his neck.

"Likewise, but I like it better when you say it Castle."

The last syllable of his name was cut off because she couldn't wait until his name left her lips before she gave him another kiss.

Though she was content to continue kissing Castle among other things, she knew she had to get going. She gave him a quick peck and managed to break their lips away from each other long enough to speak.

"I should probably get going Castle."

Castle gave a disapproving groan and muttered,

"Yeah but wouldn't you rather spend the time here instead of trudging all the way to your apartment?"

"I would but I have to stop at my apartment to change my clothes. I'm not going to show up in the same thing as yesterday."

"Well I guess you showing up in yesterday's clothes wouldn't really help our whole not telling people about us yet. Even though I'm pretty sure they wouldn't put two and two together."

"Better safe than sorry I guess Castle. I'll let you know when I'm leaving my house and we can meet up at the precinct."

"Fine, I'll see you at the precinct."

* * *

Castle followed Beckett out into the living room and picked her jacket up off of the couch. He held it open for her and she eased herself into it.

They walked to the entrance of the loft and Castle opened the door.

Beckett was on her way out and as she started walking toward the elevator she turned her head back and declared over her shoulder,

"See you in a bit Castle."

He gave her a smile and a wave and then watched until the elevator doors hid her from view.

She had noticed him trying to watch until the door to the elevator closed and she couldn't help but exclaim through a lighthearted laugh,

"You know it's a bit creepy when you stare Castle."

Castle just smirked a bit wider and leaned up against the door frame.

* * *

Castle didn't waste much time getting ready to go to the precinct. Although they both had their doses of caffeine for the morning he wanted to leave as soon as he could so he had time to get Beckett a coffee from her favorite coffee shop.

He hoped he would arrive at the precinct before she did so he could greet her with a coffee. Though he did a pretty good job of it last night, he knew that she would need some warming up. And, seeing that they would be at the precinct, the only way he could show his affection was when he handed Beckett her coffee and let their hands touch during the exchange.

He left the coffee shop when Beckett had texted him that she was on her way to the precinct. Castle managed to get to the precinct ten minutes before Beckett. Instead of meeting her at her desk he decided to wait in the lobby.

Beckett opened the door to the precinct and saw Castle waiting by the elevator. She allowed herself a small smile in his direction knowing that she at least, had to act professional. He would have to as well but since it was Castle she knew he had the ability to get away with more shenanigans than most people. In that respect he reminded her of a toddler with a very convincing and innocent face. Though those shenanigans used to drive her crazy, they don't seem to bother her anymore.

"Hey Castle why haven't you gone up yet?"

"I was waiting for you. Here's your coffee Beckett."

"Thanks but normally you just sit in your chair and wait for me by my desk."

"Today I felt like switching it up and you know I am very environmentally conscientious so I figured why waste the electricity when we could just use the elevator at the same time?"

Beckett and Castle were both inside the elevator as they waited for it to close and take them up to the correct floor.

"Castle do even know what day Earth Day falls on?"

"I don't see how me being good with dates is relevant…

(Castle spoke a little quieter for this part while he added,)

…unless we are discussing my ability to pick a place to go on one with you."

Once the doors closed the rest of the way, Castle took the opportunity to take Beckett's free hand and join it with his own.

Beckett didn't pull her hand away because she liked how her hand felt intertwined with his, his hand sending a warming feeling up her fingertips and traveling throughout the rest of her body.

"Castle you know we can't act like we are together when we are working a case. If they find out about us you may not be able to consult with the NYPD anymore."

He turned to look at her so she would know he understood her worries about not getting to work together as he spoke to her.

"Beckett relax, we have about thirty more seconds before the elevator door opens again and you are officially on duty. Until then I want to be able to hold your hand seeing how it's most likely the only time I can do it until your shift ends."

"Okay."

Beckett leaned closer to him and put her head on his shoulder, not moving away until she felt the elevator come to a stop.

Seconds before the door opened she gave his hand a small squeeze and he reciprocated the gesture. When they heard the ding of the elevator they hesitantly let their hands fall to their sides, both of them giving a sigh at the loss of warmth from each other's touch.

* * *

_As always thanks for reading and following the story._

_Reviews are always encouraged and appreciated._

_To Be Continued._


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